Common Myths & Misconceptions of Therapy

Therapy can be a confusing thing and deciding whether to go to therapy or not can be a hard decision to make. Portrayals of it in pop culture and the media haven’t exactly done it many favors, and historically there has been a significant amount of cultural stigma around attending therapy. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some common misconceptions and myths about therapy to help set the record straight!

· Therapy is for the crazy, broken, and weak

This myth couldn’t be more mistaken and wrong, and is rooted in the historical stigma our society has had towards people who sought support from a therapist in the past. While there’s still work to do around breaking down that stigma, going to therapy is being seen more and more as a sign that someone is adaptable and invested in self-growth. Therapy is not just for the “serious” or “intense” issues that some may be living with, but can be used by anyone for a plethora of reasons, such as increasing self-compassion, improving relationships, managing stress, having accountability to work towards personal goals, and more. If someone had a broken bone, wanted to learn about how to avoid high blood pressure, or wanted to improve their diet, most people would view the individual as pro-active and motivated for seeking the support of their medical provider. It’s interesting that this view does not translate to therapy. And while this myth would have you believe that few people go to therapy, in reality, many people use the support of a therapist! According to the CDC (Terlizzi & Zablotsky, 2019), 9.5% of Americans (or roughly 31 million Americans) engaged in therapy in 2019. My hunch is that number has increased even more since the onset of the pandemic as stress and the need for us to adapt in the face of many changes has increased.

· Therapists don’t actually do anything and I don’t want to pay someone to vent

Therapy has often been depicted as a place to “vent” about one’s problems and stress. While therapy leaves space for someone to explore and experience their emotions, it is not just a time for people to complain. Therapists use science-backed, research-supported interventions to support you towards your goals, and, in reality, both you and the therapist are very active in session. It is a collaborative process, where the therapist supports you in identifying what you want to change in your life and brings the tools, methods, techniques, and skills to help you problem-solve and create that change.

· Therapists just give advice and tell you how to live your life

I like to say that, in therapy, you are the driver of the bus. The therapist may sit in the passenger seat and help you see different paths to take to get to your destination and offer different shortcuts or tips to make the journey easier, but you and your values get to decide where to go and how to get there. Therapists are not the “holders of wisdom”. Some individuals may ask for the advice of their therapist, and that can be helpful at times. However, a therapist will more often support you in making values-based decisions that leave you feeling more empowered and help you create a more fulfilling life.

· You just pay for a friend by going to therapy

You and your therapist may have a great deal in common and get along extremely well. Often, individuals will say they feel like they can tell their therapist anything and their therapist just “gets them.”  This is normal, and is the sign that the person feels comfortable, safe, and supported by their therapist. A constructive therapeutic relationship may appear on the surface to resemble a deep friendship, with qualities of compassion, authenticity, and trust present. In reality, the therapist-client relationship is a professional one that is one-sided, meaning that the focus should be on the you and your goals. Since you are paying for the skills and expertise of the therapist, the focus ought to be on you and what you want for your life! A therapist who breaks the boundaries of the professional relationship can end up causing more harm for a client, and may be subject to penalties from their board or legal authorities.

· All you do in therapy is talk about your childhood and parents

Despite what the tv show The Sopranos might suggest about therapy, it is not only focused on talking about your childhood and parents. Some types of therapies may focus more on your childhood, early relationships, and development, but most therapies use that information to better understand how the past has contributed to your current habits and functioning. There are other therapies that keep the focus more on how you’re currently doing and what the future looks like for you. Talk with your therapist about what style and focus you feel is best for you.

 · A therapist will make me talk about things I don’t want to talk about

Any good therapist will never make you talk about what you don’t want to talk about and will recognize that what you talk about in therapy is entirely up to you, the client. In fact, it is unethical for a therapist to push a client to talk about what they would rather not. One of the most important things a therapist should be mindful of is how safe you feel in the relationship, and your therapist should ensure that you feel you can trust them. As I mentioned earlier, you are the driver of the bus, so you get to decide where the bus goes and doesn’t go. A good therapist will check in with you to see if you feel comfortable talking about any uncomfortable topics and will respect your boundaries.

For more information on what therapy is and isn’t, be sure to check out the past blog posts on the Types of Therapies and What Is Therapy? And be sure to keep the conversation rolling by calling/emailing CPGR to set up an appointment!